shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
