i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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