Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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