My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
