i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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