She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
