I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
