If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
