she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
