he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
