when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I look better un-naked...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
