I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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