I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
