that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
