i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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