I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize