Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize