It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
