Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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