No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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