its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
