I am puke
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
