sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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