Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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