margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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