so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
please come you make the beer taste better
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
