OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
