3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
