Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
