take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
