White coat. Heels.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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