OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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