Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
