Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
