Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
