I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
