Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
