I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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