i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
