Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
