she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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