You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize