Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
