I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Where did you get a picture of my penis
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
