I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
