I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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