I hate all girls vehemently.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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