Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
