I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
