On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
