There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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