I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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