Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
