her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
