i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
