I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
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I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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