Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
