I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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